What Happened to the Time?

Over the past 5-6 years I have received numerous tidbits of advice on parenting and childhood. Simply put, the advice I hear most frequently is , "Treasure the moments." And to be quite truthful I do and at times I don't. How could I honestly say that I treasure 2 hours of crying/fighting/whining/cleaning and more crying! That would be unreasonable. But I do attempt to see a bigger picture than just those blocks of time. Cherishing the looks, the sayings, the kind gestures that are occasionally exchanged, the moments they achieve something for the first time, their faces while they are peacefully sleeping. The moments that hit me when I think, 'these children are mine.......' High school memories a blurb and the single life a universe away, flash forward to parenthood. The moment my life began. And here I am almost 5 years later.

I constantly question myself, 'Am I doing things right? More importantly, 'Am I doing things wrong?' Then I quickly scold myself because by the time I think I have it figured out I realize I have wasted precious time concerning myself with things that don't matter. Are my children healthy and happy? I can confidently say yes. So I must be doing things right, right?

Even in knowing this, I can't help but feel guilt about one thing I know I have done wrong. By the time I knew what was happening it was too late to stop. Having children close together most certainly has its advantages, however, your daily life pace increases ten fold. Maddox was one year and 7 days old when Jaxon Carl came into this world. It didn't take me long to realize that I simply didn't have the time to do the things that I was able to do with Maddox during his first year. No monthly pictures, no scrap booking , no documenting of any sort. Nothing.

Recently a friend sent me a picture of Jaxon being held by a clown. I don't remember the day, where we were at or who we were with. I found myself struggling to pull memories of Jaxon as a baby. It was not that long ago. I believe I was in survival mode and just didn't know it or want to acknowledge it. Now don't get me wrong, I am and have been in survival mode for a long time. The difference is I know it now, I have worked harder to recognize it and I truly have made a effort to document more with the expansion of our family. Hence the blog.

Some nights I lay next to Jaxon while he is sleeping and can't help the overwhelmingly sad feeling that rushes over me. He has gotten so big and is so independent. He rarely needs or searches for my affection and I blame myself for being caught in the whirlwind of the past few years. I apologize to him and find it hard to leave his side some nights. I put his hand in mine and trace the outline of his little fingers struggling to remember the way they were as a pudgy baby, but careful to hold onto how they are now.

I've said it before, I welcome the progress, growing, changes and birthdays my children go through, but I can't and won't forget the days that I am going through now. These are not only the times I want to treasure, but most importantly,... the memories.

It Happened... Our first broken bone:(

Before I get into the "news", let me update you quickly on how busy ( hmmmm, go figure?...me use the word busy again! ) my/our past week has been.

4-12 I worked

4-13 Cami and Caron flew in. I brought the Fire Engine to the kids school for a visit and tour.

4-14 Training for a committee I recently got involved with for the Fire Dept. ( Critical Incident

Stress Management "CISM" ) during the evening.

4-15 I worked ( Last shift at my old station 7:( Sad, will miss them )

4-16 Introducing Nicki's Kid Center ( I had 8 kids ages 6 and under all afternoon and 3 stayed

the night. Thank you to Mimi because she kept Maddox. Surprisingly it went GREAT! We

played in the sprinklers all afternoon, assembly lined bath and showers, dinner, movie and

bedtime. Everyone was on their best behavior and all slept well:)

4-17 I worked ( first day at my new station. It's way out in the country. We are surrounded by

cows, horses a gator and an occasional bobcat! Big changes and looking forward to catching

up on training and rest!! )

4-18 I worked :P ( This was my day off on my old shift , but I owed someone a day from months

ago. I LOVE my job and typically one day away from my rugrats is tolerable, but 2 days in

a row gets to be a little rough. Arik thankfully brought the kids out to say hi, which of

course I appreciated: )

ANNNNNNND that's where the "drama" comes in. So I get a phone call around 5 or 6 the night of the 18th. Arik was concerned because apparently Jaxon drank some RedBull and thought he had wings. ( No he didn't really drink RedBull ) . Jaxon attempted to jump off the top of the swingset and landed hard on his left arm. Arik said that he did not see any obvious deformity, but said that Jaxon had been whimpering about his left arm "really hurting him". I immediately called my Grandpa who is able to do x-rays. He agreed to meet Arik right away at his office. Thankfully my Mom was home and was able to watch the other kiddos.

When Jaxon got to the office , he was only complaining of his wrist and hand hurting him. He was able to move his writ though and wiggle his fingers. The concerning part was that he had been supporting his arm with his other hand the whole time. ( Now Jax is a pretty good faker and can put on a show, but even he gets bored with the act and wouldn't put on for this long....I knew something had to be up ) My Grandpa took an x-ray of his hand and wrist area and there was no obvious fracture. He gave him a brace and made sure that Arik watched him closely. If there was still pain in the am he wanted him to go to the Emergency Room.

Meanwhile back at work I am progressively getting sicker ( aches, chills, headache and sore throat ) . Thankfully we slept most of the night. Our morning tones went off at 7 am to wake us up and not a minute later I get a phone call from Arik. " You need to take Jax to the ER. He was up 2-3 times throughout the night crying because he was in pain. " I asked how he was and Arik said he had been laying in bed with his arm propped on a pillow.

I told my Lt. who knew what was going on and they let me leave work a little early. When I got home I immediately went in to check on the little guy. I knew right away from how he presented to me that something was up. Believe me if one of Jaxon's arms is not swinging/flailing/hitting or batting I know something is wrong! I checked his movement in his fingers and wrist and he seemed fine, but when I asked him to lift his arm up he said he couldn't. ( Now keep in mind this whole time he isn't crying, whining or scared. ) I explain to him that I'm pretty sure he broke his arm and that we needed to go down to the hospital to have it checked out. He looked at me and laughed, " My arm isn't broke!!! Seeeeee " I smiled and told him that it was not actually his arm, but the bone inside.

If I had planned ahead I would have brought a triangle bandaged and sling from work, but I was in such a rush I didn't think about it. So I made a makeshift sling with a long-sleeve stretchy shirt ( as you can see in the pictures ) . Jaxon thought it was absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary, but he wore it and did admit to it feeling better.

When we got to the ER we lucked out. The same Physicians Assistant that did Jaxon's stitches was there and we specially requested he come again. He has a heavy accent and is quite funny and certainly has a way with kids. Jaxon had made up his mind that he wasn't going to talk to anyone, but within seconds of Alberto being in the room Jaxon was cracking up. He poked Jaxon with his finger in the belly and under the chin and tweaked his ears to make sure he was in working order. Jaxon asked him if he was going to cut his arm off. He replied matter of factly, " No because what would we put there? A wooden arm? With a hook?" He told Jaxon if he had a hook for a hand all he would be able to do is poke at all the little cookaraches. He then made several poking gestures on the end of the stretcher. He did say that Jaxon could put a patch on a row a little inflatable boat with his good arm and when all his friends ask him why he has a wooden arm with hook an eye patch and an inflatable boat, he could reply, " because that's just me!" Well by this point Jaxon was even more relaxed and Alberto was able to completely assess Jax with no problem. Jaxon let him hold his arm, turn it and poke at it. Watching Jaxon and how he was tolerating it, I thought, ' Well gosh, maybe nothing is wrong and it's just bruised.'

We were taken to another room for x-rays. The x-ray techs were very impressed with how brave Jaxon was in there as well. He never cried out or seemed concerned that he was laying on a small bed in the middle of a big room with a heavy blanket over him and huge equipment just above his head.

After the x-rays it was back to the room for more waiting. Thankfully we had a t.v. with cartoons. Oddly enough the only complaints I got from Jax all morning was that he was a. hungry, b. bored and c. that his back hurt from laying down! Alberto came back in after a while and confirmed the bad news. Jaxon had most definitely fractured his radius and possibly 2 other places on his ulna right at the elbow. I asked about the cast and he said that would be the least of it. He felt as though there may be a need for surgery because of the fractures that might exist near the growth plates. He told us that he was going to refer us to a pediatric orthopedic surgeon for further examination and follow-up. However, we were going to have to wait a few days for the swelling to go down. In the meantime he put a nice rigid splint on Jaxon's whole arm and gave us a sling ( which Jaxon incessantly complained about. He told me the sling hurt his neck. Even though it is made of a very soft material and was not on tight. He just gets bothered when things are around him! )

It's amazing to me how kids adapt so quickly. Jaxon figured out how to maneuver and use his good arm in no time. I think he has a false sense of confidence now that it is wrapped. I had to remind him several times to take it easy....and "No Jaxon...you can't wrestle Ty!"

I scheduled our visit to Dr. Sugar, the ortho Dr. for Thurs at 2:15. I just pray that our little buddy doesn't need surgery:(

Today is 4-20 and I am working again. I sent Jaxon to my good friend Sonia's for the morning. I decided to go to work to hopefully get some rest and be away from the kiddos so hopefully I don't get them sick again. ( At least at work I can space myself ). Sonia has been texting me and Jaxon is doing great. She has had no problems this morning and said he is behaving perfectly.

So tomorrow we will find out what our next step is and I will of course update when I can! I will also try to put up the pics of the x-ray if I am able to. Until then please say prayers for Jackie Jack:)

Busy Week Update!!!

Ai yi yi!!! We have had a very full week so I apologize for the lack of updates and pictures. Dee and Di-Di arrived last week with a special visitor, Adam! The boys could hardly wait to spend time with them. There is just too much to write about, each day could fill up an entire post. So in brief, we spent the past week going to the beach, the Splashpark, the playground, kindergarten round-up ( for Maddox...more on that event that completely bombed! ) sleepovers, alligator airboat tours , the moon, a wedding and the circus! Okay, I lied about the moon, but we/they did everything else!

The kids could not have got along better. I'm telling you what, they were perfect and picked up exactly where they left off last time they were together. You'd think that they played together every weekend. Maddox's face glowed one of the days as him and Adam hugged each other when I told him he wasn't going to have to take a nap that day!

Jaxon was in his first wedding on Saturday. Arik's best friend Derek tied the knot and asked that he be the ring bearer. I had the camera rolling in anticipation that I may have the next big youtube hit, not knowing what antics to expect from Jaxon walking down the aisle. But much to Arik and my surprise, he did GREAT! Well, minus the fart he let slip during the ceremony. The church was about the size of a small classroom and little Jaxon let one rip and then apparently turned to Arik and asked him if, "it stunk" !!! If only I had been sitting closer!

Today was Dee, Di-Di and Adam's last day here. I actually felt very bad for the boys, they were so bummed to have to say goodbye. I assured him that we would see each other again soon though. hmmmmmmm do I sense a trip in the works????? Let see what we can cook up Stephanie haha;)

Can You Believe It!!??!!

I have been counting down the days in anticipation . As many of you know ( because I have been talking about it incessantly! ) , the twins had their first day of school on Friday!! WOO-HOO!!!! I didn't even care that they would be starting on a Friday. Mon -Fri 9-12. Perfect. Mothers understand when I say, you can't underestimate the value of 3 hours to your self.

So how did the first day go? The morning was slightly chaotic, but what's new? I got off work an hour early so that I could make sure I was home on time to have things ready. ( ok....completely off subject, but I feel the need to mention that Maddox is gleefully prancing around the back yard dangling a dead water logged lizard! Ughh, for those of you that know me, you know I loathe lizards. My stomach just churned )

We actually left the house on schedule and while driving down the road I completed my mental checklist: backpacks? check. shot record? check. lunches? check. sippy cups? ch---ughhhhh!!! I forgot their sippy cups!!! Great. At this point I was almost at their school so turning around was not an option. And I had 9:30 plans to meet with a good friend for breakfast ( who by the way happens to pick on my time management skills so I was gonna be darned if I showed up late when I insisted I'd be on time! ) I quickly called Mimi who lives right don the road from the school, hoping that maybe she would have spare sippys on hand.....nope. I assumed that I would just have to run across the way to CVS and buy 2 new ones. In the meantime I decided to get the kids to school and worry about the cups later.

Every morning when we pull into the school driveway, Ty throws a fit immediately because he wants so badly to get out with the boys. Today he was so excited because before he had a chance to let out a ug, I cut him off and asked if he wanted to get out too. I should mention that whenever something makes Ty happy or he sees something worth his while he throws his right hand in the air and yells out flatly "NAY!" ( which of course in Ty speak is Yay! ) . ...So it came as no surprise when after I asked, he threw his hand up with a "Nay!"

I think the boys were just as excited as me that the babies were starting. Jaxon loved the idea that he was going to get to have playground time with the twins class. And Maddox just plain thought it was cool. The boys were really helpful getting them out of the car and helping them with their backpacks ( By the way, best 10 dollar Illinois Walmart investment I made. They are so cute!!) Ty had a little spiderman backpack that straps in the front and gives the appearance that he is wearing a spiderman vest. Olivia's on the other hand has the Disney princesses with a ruffled strap in the front. Adorable. So armed with their matching school uniform shirts and new backpacks they marched to class.

I had zero issue dropping them off or leaving them. They took to that classroom like they were seasoned students, leaving my side without a glance in my direction. I broke the news to their teacher , Ms. Courtney that I dropped the ball and forgot their cups. And thank goodness, she was prepared more than me because she had extras that she was more than willing to share. Phew! Saved.

I helped her load the kids into the bye-bye buggy ( a red stroller for 6 ) as she pushed them to another classroom for a few minutes. It was very nostalgic for me. When Maddox was two and first started at GSL I can remember watching him load into the bye-bye buggy. It's amazing that 3 kids later, I get to watch it again.

I didn't want to make a big deal of waving good-bye, so I blew kisses and sort of snuck off. With no tears shed from any of us that morning, I was off!

The drive down the interstate to meet with my friend was .......quiet. Save for the music I had playing. I didn't even want to make a phone call. I just wanted the reality of the morning to set in.

So what did I do? Well I made it to breakfast with Tina on time for starters. After enjoying a great kid-free breakfast we went and got a mani/pedi!!! Hahaha. I don't know when the last time I did that was. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The twins teacher texted me around 1100 and told me that they were doing great. At that point I settled a little farther into the massaging chair and breathed a big sigh!!

Mom of the year award goes to me. I was of course 10 min late picking them up for their first day. They were happy to see me, but guess what!? Ty didn't want to leave! The teacher gave them a good report and told me they had no troubles. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear that.

While every morning won't be filled with breakfast and nails done, I can tell you I will be doing a lot of things that in my little world will make me very happy. I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to send my children to class and know that they are enjoying themselves and benefiting from their school time as much as I am:)

P.S. I attached a couple videos of Ty playing the trombone. Just cracked me up!!!

The Scream

Why dear goodness, must I have birthed 4 ...I repeat 4 children that scream? Did my eardrums commit some crime that I am unaware of that they deserve the level of punishment that I am forced to endure daily? If so I give! I will bail them out! What is the cost?!

Moms you know what I am talking about. Your child is either a screamer or they aren't. Somehow, all of my children have been blessed with the vocal range of a macaw. ( I don't even know what their vocal range is, but when I think of a loud and annoying , I think Macaw ) .

While Maddox had a piercing scream that would make your right eye cringe and your head tilt to the right while sinking lower into your shoulders, his did not have near the frequency or duration of Miss Olivia. Since she is not able to hold her own physically with either of her 3 brothers, she's mastered the art of the deafening scream to stop her enemy in their tracks, granting her and her dolly enough time to perform an evasive maneuver and bolt towards the safety of Arik or myself. It's only at this time that she will breath and let out a sob of relief that she has survived and remained unscathed yet another time.

I recently had my annual hearing test performed for work. The Nurse asked me if I always wore my hearing protection at work. Of course, I answered her. However, I believe the question you should be asking, is ' Do I wear my hearing protection at home!?'

Please pray for my eardrums, because at the rate the screams are coming, I believe I will be deaf before I am 30!!

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY BABIES ( get used to it, you will always be my babies;)

Happy Birthday Ty and Olivia,

Happy Birthday Ty and Olivia,

Happy Birthday to the coolest twins EVERRRRRRR,

Happy Birthday Ty and Olivia!!!!

Unfortunately I am writing this blog from the kitchen of station 7 instead of being at home with my little two-tsies on their birthday, but fortunately, we were able to celebrate the big two with the two yesterday! ( okay, no more I promise ;)

Boy was yesterday packed! Our day started with a trip to Euro-something or other salon with a good friend of mine. She informed me that they were offering free haircuts with donations in lieu of a payment. Sounds great! Sign me up. My kids were definitely in need of a haircut!

Maddox informed me upon arrival that he wouldn't be needing a buzz cut, he wanted a "cool" haircut. The stylist asked Maddox if he wanted to achieve a "Justin Beiber" look and Maddox nodded yes and climbed into the chair without a complaint. Umm excuse me Maddox? Do you even know who the Beibster is???? I think not. For all he knew the guy could have been giving him a mow hawk. But Maddox apparently was confident in him figuring 'this guy gets me, he surely knows cool'. So Maddox sat patiently while the stylist razored, trimmed, clipped and tousled his hair. And while I personally saw zero change in the result of his "haircut" , Maddox jumped down like he was going straight to his photo shoot for "I'm too cool for school" weekly. Periodically throughout the morning he would asked me if he messed his hair up. I didn't have the heart to tell him, "Nope, it looks exactly the same as it did yesterday!"

Jaxon opted for the short style. He enjoys the occasionally "faux-hawk" and certain days he will sport the "duckbill" ( is that even what that cut is called!?! What a horribly un-cool name for a haircut. "Yeah, I'm rockin' the duckbill....with my plaid pants and penny loafers" ) I'd say Jaxon fared the best with his cut overall. And other than his scab on his upper lip that he won't stop picking at, he looks pretty darned cute!

Ty, well I do believe he has been traumatized for life and will forever refuse to have his haircut again unless I strap him down. Dreadlocks here he comes! This was not Ty's first haircut. And in the past we have had no issues sitting him down for a trim. However, I think with all the commotion and the fact that I was unable to sit with him, he panicked a little. A little that is until his stylist nicked the top of his ear with her scissors!! At which point he threw in the towel and refused to let anyone come near his head! She claimed to have pinched it a little....Hmmmm, no ...the drop of blood on his ear begs to differ. Fortunately the cut was near complete and he also looks pretty darned cute!

Which brings me to Olivia. Sweet, sweet, sweet Olivia. Did I tell you that you are my favorite daughter? Did I tell you how you are so beautiful to me? Okay, I'll just come right out and say it, " I AM SO SORRY!!!" What was I thinking. Oh let me give Olivia her first haircut the day of her second birthday. Better yet, lets attempt a bob. Yeah, that will be adorable. Her little hair was finally getting some length to it, but it was on the thin side. I've heard that after the first cut it tends to grow in a little thicker and really adds some volume. Great right? No. I take ultimate responsibility for getting her haircut, but some blame has to be placed on the hair dresser who gave her a pixie cut. Well, in his defense it was an attempted "wedge" ...Again, this deserves a "WHAT????" She is two!! her hair is about as thick as thread. You can't wedge her hair! Oh, but he was gonna try and try he did. He got all fancy with his razor ( yes he razored Olivia's bangs )and snipping and twisting and styling. I don't know if he was trying to reassure me or himself, but throughout the cut he kept saying, " it looks cute right?". Yes, except now my little daughter looks like a boy. Well, we will just have a couple months of bows and poured on pink. Don't worry honey, it will grow.

After haircuts, we played on the bounce house provided and Ty had his second pony ride in a week. ( He loves it, little guy did not want off ). And then my friend and I had the bright idea of bringing our combined 7 children 4 and under to the restaurant for lunch. Yes we are brave. You could practically hear the servers begging their boss to close early when they saw us approaching their door haha. But we survived and had a nice lunch considering.

After naps it was time for the twins birthday party. This year, I tapped and decided that I was going to have someone else do the work for me. The twins birthday was at the Kids Activity Center which is basically a mini gym for children. They did and provided everything for me including the invites and soon to be thank-yous. Ahhhh, how nice it was. Honestly , seeing the twins run around the way they did was priceless. They had a blast. Arik was able to take a break from his fair detail and join us for most of the party. Overall we had a great time. Some would ask if a birthday party for two-year olds is necessary. Necessary? Maybe not. Worth it?? COMPLETELY! I loved the chance to focus on them for the evening and recognize their special day. I posted a few of the videos from the party. I especially love the one where Ty attempts to blow out his birthday candles and Olivia decides that smothering the flame with her dinosaur would be more effective! By the way, Olivia's cake was a dinosaur scene, so in her video you will hear her shrieking. She is attempting to say dinosaur and Dino Dan. I think the clarity was lost in her excitement.

This morning before I left for work I separately sang Happy Birthday to each baby then gave them a BIG kiss and hug. I had to work on Jaxon's second birthday and I'll never forget the fire that I had that shift. Hmmmm, wonder what the twins Birthday will bring?!

In summary, I love you Ty and Olivia. You truly are my little miracles. *Happy 2nd Birthday*

o

A WHOLE YEAR gone by!!!!

"Hello again! Remember me?"

"Ahh yes, I do in fact. You're the crazy mother of 4 small children aren't you?"

"Well yes, I do have 4 small children, but I wouldn't necessarily say that I am crazy yet, though I must say that this past year has assisted me greatly in reaching that goal!"

" Is that why I haven't heard from you in a while?"

" It's definitely been a contributing factor! I mean other than the complete lack of time and energy."

"So how have those little rascals been?"

"Do you want the long or condensed version? haha:) How do I begin to sum up a whole year?! I could easily write a novel about each of my children. Heck I could write two novels about each child, one detailing all the mischievous and naughty things they do, say or have gotten into and another about the hundreds of ways that every day in the midst of all the chaos they manage to steal a piece of my heart and run away with it.

Maddox, my angel. He has remained one of the most caring and sensitive children that I've encountered in my life. He still loves hugs, kisses and soft songs ( but definitely not in front of his friends anymore ) He cares how you feel and the world stops if he feels like he has hurt me or made me sad. He is smart and loud, yet at the same time shy and reserved. He is hesitant to try new things and timid when it comes to new experiences. I have yet to get a bad report from his teachers at school. He is still very concerned with his look, clothes and shoes more than his hair. The child will not let me style his hair! He has grown so much in this past year. Both physically and mentally. My little guy that was watching Dora and playing learning games on the computer is now watching Toy Story and playing Mario and racing games. Watching him play on the playground I no longer have the Hawks eye on every step he takes. I watch him swing and climb with ease over bars that are 12 feet high. I don't know why, but I rarely get sad about watching these changes. I feel more of an excitement. An excitement of the changes that are happening right in front of me every day. I look forward and anticipate watching his growth. But don't get me wrong, Mad does slip on his horns every now and then. Along with all the positive changes that age has brought, he is also picking up on the negative. He is now scared of the dark and of hallways. He has completely mastered the art of talking back. And playing copycat has become a new hobby of his as well. He has added "dang it" to his vocabulary which I firmly correct him on if I hear it slip. And he is somewhat of a bully when it comes to sharing or playing with Jaxon! ( that is when they are not behaving as the best friends they have become ). Maddox and I share a very special connection and I look so forward to seeing how that is going to grow over the years. I look forward to updating his accomplishments over the next year!!

"Wow, he sounds like a pretty neat little guy. I can't wait to see some pictures of him! How about Jaxon?"

"*laugh* My little Jackie Jack. You just can't look at him without smiling. He could not have qualities and characteristics more opposite than Maddox. He has remained my tough guy. He still isn't quick to give hugs or kisses, but you know when he does they are sincere. ( Unless they are the hugs and kisses when he is sneaking out of his bed at bedtime to steal a few more minutes awake;) He is SO helpful. He loves to help with the babies, cooking, cleaning, carrying in the groceries. You name it he's on it. He is adventurous and daring. He is always the first to try something new whether it's a ride or new food. He bravely will march outside after dark and search the ground for Maddox's lost bunny or a lost sippy cup from earlier in the day. He is a darned good sleeper. Ahh if only all the kids would sleep in like he does;) However, lately he has been a little more difficult to get to sleep. It has taken a bit more bribing and coaxing during naptime! He will copy or attempt to copy almost everything that he sees his older brother doing.....Oh goodness, I can see this as foreshadowing for the years to come haha! The teachers at Jaxon's school praise him for being so well behaved, generous and helpful. They say he is just an angel. And yes, I had to confirm we were talking about the same Jaxon b/c just like Maddox, Jaxon has developed quite the behavior over the past year. He is very headstrong, much more temperamental and hands down the quickest to use a potty mouth. His favorite new words added to his vocabulary: butt, butt head, stinkin' head, hate, and stupid. All of which have earned him several tastes of dawn dish soap! Jaxon is such a fun child. His relationship with Maddox has grown so much as he is getting older. I love his laugh and how he says, very whenever it should be really or how he started saying "selth" instead of "SELF" because that's how he hears Maddox say it. I love that he says "hont" instead of "honk" or a "t" for all his "c's" His big speech accomplishment this year was learning how to say "thirsty" instead of "firsty". I wish I could have taken a picture of the pride on his face as he sat on the edge of my bed and repeated "thirsty" over and over again. I enjoy all of Jaxon's firsts and his progress because I can see how hard he works at his accomplishments. So much of Jaxon's first two years were such a blur to me, that I make a conscious effort to acknowledge all of his achievements every day and really focus on his progress. "

"He seems like he has really grown in this past year!"

" A lot, he also catapulted from toddler to little boy fast."

"So tell me about the twins, what's new? I'll bet they've grown!"

"*smile. I still don't know if I've fully grasped the fact that I have 2 year old twins running around my house. Who am I kidding, Running my house! With every milestone they have hit this past year, I caught myself breathing a sigh of relief and thinking, 'now things are finally getting easier'.. *SCRREEEEEEEEAAAACCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Cue squeals, screams and cries. They tricked me. Oh yes they did. They let me believe that the calm had come. Calm my behind! Try calm before the storm!!!! They are twin tornadoes that delight in the fact that everything they touch or come in contact with can be destructed. Including attempting to terrorize each other. Twin bond, well if there is sucha thing it sure hasn't come yet. Rarely in this past year have I noticed any particularly bonding between them. In fact Ty seems to be completely content learning the ways and hanging with his older brothers, he just simply couldn't care less about Olivia's interests and her likewise. In fact when Ty feels like his domain has been threatened he is quick to chomp on his sisters arm or stomach or grab a handful of her hair and raise it in the air with a victory grunt. Olivia is left to either flee for her life or scream at the top of her lungs until either Arik or myself runs to her aide. But don't get me wrong, while Olivia is not violent she feels that she should always have her way or get what she wants. If not ....then she screams.......and screams....and screams. This tactic is wearing thin on me, so I am very thankful that her vocabulary has taken a turn for the best. She definitely is a little parrot. I love hearing her copy my words. To contrast her piercing screams she has such a sweet little voice. Ty on the other hand, well, the little guys is trying. The best way I can describe Ty's language is Caveman talk. We communicate great actually, as far as him getting his needs across. He follows very specific directions and always lets you know exactly what he needs. He just chooses not to use words. A conversation with Ty goes as follows: " Ty would you like to lay on the couch with your sippy cup?" sharp up and down nod " UGH" . "Okay, which couch?" he aggressively points to the long couch. " UGH UGH" " Here you go , now to you want to watch Dora?" again a sharp single nod yes. I turn on the t.v. and walk away. "UGGHHHHHHHH aggghhhh agghhhhhh!!" "What???? ....... Oh!! You want a blankie?" A vacant look and another sharp nod, "ugh" . And so goes our chats haha:) The progress and the milestones are too many to list over the past year for the twins. They have been an incredible blessing to our family. Ty is loving and curious, he's sneaky and stealth, he's cuddly and caring. I tend to watch him a little longer when I lay him down at night and for some reason, I find myself a little more emotional when I tuck him in. Maybe it's just the way he looks up at me, or how sweet our bedtime routine is. Maybe it's that he's growing so fast. Then there is Olivia. My princess, yes, she is still my princess and will hopefully always be. She is a firecracker and has more of Jaxon's outgoing personality. She is a lover, she's quick, she's smart, funny, dramatic and loud. She gets a kick out of herself and loves to dance. Currently her favorite "attention grabber" is standing on the coffee table and dancing....to hip hop only mind you! She is the perfect blend of girl and tomboy. She loves her dolly and purse and dress up, yet her favorite show is Dino Dan and she will have just as much mud if not more on her after playing outside. She is cuddly and affectionate and loves to please. And just to clarify, yes she does have Daddy wrapped around her pinky. There is no denying it!"

"Phew, it sounds like you have your hands full?!"

" You wouldn't believe how often I hear that! And yes, I do. I believe my body has been programmed to survival mode this past year. Raising children is the most daunting and yet rewarding tasks anyone will take on in their lives. The responsibility is HUGE and that weighs heavily on me to do my best for my children. I surely make mistakes and goodness knows I have my meltdowns, but every day I go to bed I picture my 4 kids faces and thank God that he has blessed me with them. I welcome the challenges the next year has for me , I look forward to documenting more crazy antics and adorable firsts. I can't wait to see Maddox begin kindergarten, or the twins start "pre-pre school. Maddox and Jaxon will be 4 and 5 this year and in two days the twins will celebrate another birthday when they turn 2. And in writing this it reminds me how much we have been through and accomplished this past year. Every day I celebrate the small victories and anticipate the minor battles that the next day will bring. I go to bed with a renewed sense of ambition and welcome the next day with an open mind an open arms."

" Well, after hearing from you I retract my previous description of you as the crazy mother of 4 young children. Perhaps the Proud Mother of 4 young children would be more fitting?"

" I appreciate that, however, maybe crazy isn't so far off. ........I am having a fictional conversation with my computer after all!".......Until next time:)